11 years

Today marks the 11th anniversary since the day I was given a new lease of life. 11 years ago, I underwent a total hip replacement (THR) surgery. I remember entering the operating theater full of joy knowing that with this provision, I will be able to be mobile again. I’ll be able to move around in a painless manner for once. It was an answered prayer – a new right hip.

11 years later, I find myself facing the prospect of another THR in the near future. The steroid induced avascular necrosis (AVN) of the hip, a side effect to the treatment I underwent 13 years ago for a lupus flare in the form of ulcer pyoderma gangrenosum had progressed. The x-ray at the orthopedics 3 months ago confirmed the Stage 4 AVN. The death sentence had been pronounced and the only treatment option is THR. I knew this all along but had been in denial. For the last 3 years at least, I had been doing whatever I can in order to prolong the lifespan of my left hip with a hope of a miracle before the pain reaches a level beyond my tolerance. However, the mortal body cannot escape the reality of sin and continues to decay.

So how am I different from 11 years ago? I can definitely feel the effect of aging but that is another blog post altogether hah! 11 years later, I am still me. Still battling the same disease but with a few more organs affected this time; still popping tens of pills everyday but had learnt to organise my pills more effectively with an AM-PM pill organiser; still am tired and in pain but had learnt to pause, rest and say no to things; still sustaining a damaged hip and limping in pain (yikes! I finally admit it, but still struggle to accept it) but this time on the other side; still surrounded by loving people and still making my mother very worried. Most importantly though, I am still hopeful despite everything but this time with a slightly clearer sense of what this life is about. I have a story to tell in Him

Life is in no way a bed of roses. Jesus promised that “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows”, but He did not stop there. “But take heart” He continued,”… because I have overcome the world.”

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God.” Rom 8:18-19

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